February 09, 2007

A different mindset

During childhood, occasionally my father took my sister and me to dinner with two of his good friends. Sometimes they also brought their kids along. After the meal, the three men would quickly fish out their wallets or money and offered to pay the bill.

(In those days a lot of people, especially blue-collar workers, did not carry wallets because apart from the IC, most of them had no other cards. So they just put the money in their pockets.)

No, they were not rich, or pretending or trying to show off. It was their mindset. To them, it showed that they were financially okay and others in the restaurant would also not ‘look down’ on them. Not doing so could make their friends think that they were in some financial difficulties. The offer-to-pay was good enough, not necessary must pay. Looking at it from another angle, it could be that they did not want to lose face.

I believe, subtly they took turns to pay. Because they knew the others also thought the same way. But as I said everyone would still do the offer-to-pay part and if he happened to nearest to the waitress and the waitress collected his money, never mind also. This is not the same as pretending. Pretending means you have no intention to pay.

At that time I also did not understand.

I don’t think people think this way now. But, I think it is a good thing to be able to give others a treat.

1 comment:

Victor said...

Frannxis, what's the "If I support Empty Paras" thing doing in your post? (Shouldn't it be "If I support Empty Pockets" instead? Muahahaha.

I used to have friends who are very slow with their wallets after having a meal together. I said "used to" because they are no longer my friends, for obvious reason.